Once upon a midnight dreary, I was studying “Economic Theory”
For an exam in which I required an outstanding score.
A passing grade would send me toward a great career as my reward
Employers would by the horde try to lure me to their door.
“But this is tough work!” I mumbled “This is quite a bore!”
“I can’t take much more!”

I skipped the test I had to take, didn’t seem like a big mistake
Didn’t want to work for a boss that I would deplore.
One day as I watched TV I saw an ad that excited me.
A “get rich quick” guarantee that I could not ignore.
“Make $50K a month trading, what are you waiting for?”
Money-troubled, nevermore!

Thus I gave in to temptation, trading became my occupation
So I bought some software and a new Intel Dual Core
I connected to AmeriTrade to start my new wealth-building crusade
With a bank loan that I made and all the cash stuffed in my drawer.
I considered this a venture that I would certainly adore.
I didn’t know what was in store!

A few clicks in and I was set and ready to make my first bet
Saw many stock and bonds and opportunities galore
I started making many a buy and tried riding bulls to the sky
‘Twas the tip-top of the mountain high that I was shooting for.
But the bear stood on the very top and knocked me to the floor!
Boy was I surely sore!

Six months in with no success, All I gained was lots of stress
I realized that my trading job was truly quite a chore.
Many positions were quite ill and some of them dropped down to nil
But my hope remained still that my holdings would soon soar.
“I’m down a bit” I had said, “but I’ll keep trading more.”
“Massive gains I’ll no doubt score!”

‘Twas another morning dreary, while I researched, weak and weary
Over many options and bonds and cheap stocks galore.
While I studied, ever clicking, my assets took another licking
All my stocks were downticking ’till they were no more.
“No not again!”, I muttered, “I went through this before!”
“10K lost! Son of a whore!”

My portfolio, to my dismay, was in complete disarray
Saw more minus signs than I’ve ever seen before.
A new approach was badly needed, toward penny stocks I proceeded
My friend’s warnings were unheeded, his advice I ignored
“Here’s the goldmine!”, I exclaimed, “Watch my capital soar!”
“5 million bucks I’ll try for!”

‘Twas two weeks later in my quest, I found myself quite depressed
Had insufficient funds to merit trading anymore.
I was in debt up to my ears, Recovery would take many years
I was confirmed my worst fears: I couldn’t pay rent no more.
My landlord grabbed all my stuff and threw it out the door!
“I have no home anymore!”

Fully defeated, I then conceded, an actual job was what I needed
Saw many opportunities that I needed to explore.
I searched for days throughout the state for a job that would set me straight
Would I work in real estate or at a hardware store?
one thing’s for certain, those damn stocks, I truly abhor!
Will day trade, nevermore.

-Trader Reformed